I love a good workplace romance movie. Actually, now that I think about it, I can’t summon one mentally – does a rom-com like Set It Up or The Proposal count? Because that’s basically all I watch – but I was extremely excited about Fair Play, the Phoebe Dynevor/Alden Ehrenreich-led erotic thriller about a young couple secretly dating while working for a cutthroat hedge fund. It looked genuinely bizarre and sexy, but also, I’d take any excuse to see Rich Sommer – aka Harry Crane from Mad Men – in a dramatic role where he doesn’t have to play a 1960s-era Hare Krishna. Let’s dive into this one, shall we? (Fair warning: The following thoughts are very spoiler-y!)
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- Why are the wine glasses in this bar scene so giant? Was Olivia Pope here at some point?
- God, Phoebe Dynevor is so pretty.
- Is Phoebe (who shall hereafter be referred to as Emily) wearing white at a wedding that’s not her own? Even cream seems in poor taste.
- Wow, a graphic period sex scene before minute six.
- And then a proposal? Damn.
- God, commuting sucks.
- So Emily and Handsome Boyfriend, aka Luke, both work at the hedge fund? I knew this, but it still feels like a dramatic reveal.
- Just going to state this timeworn adage upfront: never date your co-workers. Sure, sometimes it’s a Jim-and-Pam ending, but usually it’s… not.
- It is truly wild how little I understand what a hedge fund does.
- A very angry white man is breaking things with a golf club in the workplace.
- Maybe I just really don’t get hedge funds, but are you allowed to just… destroy stuff with impunity?
- Shower Prosecco! I like Emily’s style.
- So Emily published a WSJ story when she was 17? According to her weird boss Campbell? Who makes her meet up with him at a bar in the wee hours?
- Oop, our girlie got promoted!
- Numbers, numbers, year-over-year, blah, blah, blah.
- Hey, it’s Harry Crane!
- Hey, it’s Jimmy Barrett, the off-colour comedian! A regular Mad Men reunion.
- Why is Luke doing crunches somehow terrifying?
- Luke clearly isn’t thrilled about Emily’s new promotion, now that it’s sinking in that she’s actually going to… have power.
- They don’t let hedge fund employees smoke in the office? I thought it was a no-rules, anything-goes type of corporate structure.
- Oh, shit, Emily’s boss calls her a “dumb fucking bitch”. Time to file a harassment complaint and never work again, queen!
- This story about Duke hazing week is making me vaguely nauseous.
- Emily goes out to the strip club with the fellas, which pisses Luke off.
- This man really has some scary facial architecture.
- Now Emily and Luke are battling over who gets to stay at the firm?
- Big kitchen yelling scene!
- Oh, yeah, I forgot these two are engaged, LOL. So did they, apparently?
- Oh, shit, Luke is being bad at the office while Emily tries to give a presentation to some Russian clients.
- Luke has a full-scale meltdown, screaming at Campbell and (predictably) outing his relationship with Emily.
- Luke shows up at the engagement party Emily’s mum planned, and damn, I’d hate to be a guest at this fête.
- God, so much yelling.
- And just like that, they’re bangin’ again.
- Ugh, the sex turns into a pretty brutal and upsetting assault scene.
- Oh, damn, Emily frames Luke as her longtime stalker to Campbell. After that scene, I kind of respect it?
- She also… full-on stabs him? And forces him to apologise for raping her?
- Well, that was a ride!
